iFruit Hits Android

This is more than a little after the fact, but it’s even more true than before.

It wasn’t worth the wait.Oh, you want more?

Really, don’t bother.





More?  You’re really difficult, you know that?

The main reason I was annoyed at RockStar for not releasing the Android version was that it seemed you needed the iFruit so you could train Chop (the dog) and use him to find a few things that you needed for 100% completion.  That is – it was a part of the game, and not just a fun add-on.

There are certainly ‘fun add-on’ bits to iFruit.  You can get yourself a set of custom plates.  Though these have to be unique, so with the late release of Android iFruit most of the good ones are taken.

You can customise your cars with the app as well.  There’s also LifeHacker  – but I haven’t bothered playing with that.

No, I’m really here for Chop (the dog).  Which is a pity, because the Chop (the dog) section is … not worth it.

Chop (the dog) is shown at your place, in graphics (and animation quality) quite reminiscent of the early Flash games.  You can feed him, water him, clean up his poop, throw a ball, take him for walks, buy him a collar and train him.

All of this is lovingly rendered in early 2000’s Flash-o-vision.

The walking is a top down view of a location where Chop (the dog) has to either scare dogs or people off, or steal bikinis from women.

The training is just getting Chop (the dog) happy enough to click a button. When you’ve clicked enough times, you can train him fully. Though so far that hasn’t been worth the effort.

I might be able to accept some of this as RockStar completely taking the piss (and perhaps they still are) but the controls are horrible.  You drag a line from Chop (the dog) to wherever you want to go.  Sometimes Chop (the dog) can get confused, or stuck.  Sometimes the drag doesn’t register at all. There seem to be parts of the screen where you will never, ever get Chop (the dog) to move again, so you just wait for the timer to end.

Even if these bits were fun, they seem to have completely cocked up how the game runs.  On my Galaxy Tab 2, it runs like a dog with  Chop (the dog) stuttering and jerking  his way across the screen in a very choppy fashion.

As of the last few days, I haven’t even been able to play the Chop (the dog) section, as I dump some food for him, and when he wakes up to eat it, the game freezes with him in the ‘do I need to shit or get up’ position.

Really, even before it broke it was a glorified Tamagotchi. Much as I loved Chop (the dog) in the main game, this Chop (the dog) is just …  a lame dog.

About Lisa

A Geeky Gamergrrl who obsesses about the strangest things.
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